There Is Hope for You and You Are Not Alone!

It Was Not Your Choice

God the creator of the Heavens and the earth is, Who has destined everyone's life, and the life of your parents was destined by Him. Parents are just vessels that God uses to bring your  life to earth. Not matter what anyone tells you or how many times; "You are not and never will be a mistake." We all make mistakes, but, not God. He never makes mistakes, and regardless of what anyone tells you, He is love and loves you just as you are very much.  27 "God Created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill all the earth, and subdue it; and rule over it; over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth." Then God said behold I have given you every plant yeilding seed that is on the surface of all the earth. And every tree which has fruit yeilding seed; it shall be food for you; and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the skything that moves on the aearth wich has life, I have given every green plant for food", and it is so. God saw all that he had made , and beholdy good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.  GENESIS 1:27-31  Next scripture (our conception & birth) For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for  I am fearfully and wond erfullymade; Wonderful are Your works; And my soul knows it very well. My frame (body) was not hidden from yYou, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, Whemn as  yet there was not one of them.  PSALM 139:13-16

It's Normal To Have Needs.

From the moment God plans our conception and we are a baby developing in our mother's womb (belly), immediately we have needs. We're sensitive to our mother's emotions including the ones about us. How she takes care of herself while we are developing. We are sensitive to the sound peoples voices. And because God made us in His image and He wanted children to love that would love Him in return. We are created to need and want love. To be connected and nutured, fed and taken care of by our parents (God's vessel). Not to be abused verbal, physically or sexually. Or, to have our basic needs of food, shelter and clothing unmet. Always remember; "It is normal to need or want any of these things. By the very fact that we  were born makes us intiltled to them. And it was never part of God's original plan that any child or young adult (teenager) be mistreated or have unmet needs. PSALM 118:1-9

It's Not Okay

It's not okay for someone to tell you or make you feel like you are not important; Because, "YOU ARE IMPORTANT!" Even when other people (including our family and friends) treat us like we don't matter, to the God of Heaven Who created us, we do matter. Matthew 19:13-15 "Then children were brought to Jesus so that He might place His hands on them (for a blessing) and pray; but the disciples (the men following Jesus) reprimanded them. (told them to not bother Jesus)

But He (Jesus) said, "Leave them alone, and do not forbid (stop) them from coming to me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these (the children). After placing His hands on them (for a blessing), He went on from there (continued His journey).

    And it's not okay to be emotionally put down or mentally abused to where we hate ourselves, our lives or wish we were dead. I can from experience tell you my friends, I felt this way from the time I could remember (about 3 years old) and through my late 30's.

    It's not okay to be physically abused or punished to the point where there are cuts and bruises on your body. Or to be beaten with a belt or any other object or weapon.

   It's not okay to have anyone for any reason (unless you are sick or need an operation and it's a doctor) to touch your private parts in anyway. To perform or ask you to perform sexual acts that should only take place between two adults that both want to participate in the act of being physically and sexually touched. It's not okay for any adult man or woman to touch a child or young person in this way for any reason. 

   What I want you to know: Regardless of how many of these challenges you face or if it's only one, Do Not believe that you will be getting hurt anymore than you already are if you report (tell someone outside of your family) what is happening to you. And if the person or persons hurting you tell you they will hurt someone you love more, PLEASE REMEMBER - You are a child and can not help or protect anyone else, you can only cry out for help for yourself. It is not your job, your fault or responsibility to protect adults, even your parents! 

   

The Bully & The Victim

"TAKING A SOBERING LOOK AT BULLIES AND THEIR VICTIMS"

As a survivor of bullying, I am here to tell you that scars of intimadation, abuse and the trauma that happens during bullying are no joke; especially to the victim. There is so much more  coverage in recent years about bullying. Everytime I turn the TV or my computer on and see another incident, my heart is gripped with pain and my stomach feels like it is filled with a sick heavy feeling. Not only children, but, adults as well are committing against each other!

Thirty years later the lingering memories of the bullying I endured can still make my eyes well up with tears. It doesn't matter what kind of bully you are; A Student, Parent, Peer or Professional someone needs to ask you, "What is it that fuels / drives your need to intimidate and abuse another human-being (or, animal in some cases)?

QUESTIONS FOR THE BULLY 

"Do you realize that for your victim it's often confusing at best and dificult to understand why the abuse is happening? Who or what has intimidated or hurt you so badly that you feel the need to pass on such pain? Is someone or something hurting you? How would it make you feel if someone is hurting you! Do you believe it feels any better to the person your hurting? If you do love or care about someone, how would you feel if they were getting hurt unjustly?" 

Whatever your answers are, I would you to take a deep look into the most humane part of yourself; "What is causing me to feel the need to hurt or destroy someone elses life? Who or what has hurt me so badly?" Maybe, the pain in your own life is so great, bullying is the only way for you to have a feeling of control about where you are or what's happening to you. Whatever is  going on inside of you I strongly encourage you to reach out and get the help and support you need to change your behavior. Whether it's a Pastor, Youth Center, Counselor or a trust worthy adult, someone will reach back. You need to understand your rights end where another persons begin. Whether it's children or adults doing the bullying it puts the victim at the mercy of the abuser. The victim is not only robbed of their safety, but, the right to choose their own fate.Bullying is cruel and unfair period. Whenever someone is at the mercy of another human being who lacks a decent sense of right and wrong, those arounf them are at a greater risk of becoming victims.

THE VICTIM CONNECTION

I can remember have gum and lollypops stuck in my hair while being shoved down three to seven stairs at a time in grammer and high school. In high school almost everyday my lunch was stolen by some rough - neck eaten in front of me. They would make hateful gestures and comments about me while they savagely tore my lunch apart. One day I dared to speak up to them, only to find myself lying on my back in the middle of the gym floor with a cracked elbow and head. The innocent students standing around didn't get involved for fear of their own safety. 

To make matters worse, I grew  an abusive home with family, but, without either one of my parents. So, it seems I had this "victim odor" about me. I was a target no matter where I was, even on the school bus riding home. 

To anyone of you out there who is or has been a victim of bullying; "We may not always get the restitution we deserve, especially from our abusers. But, NEVER BELIEVE that you are deservering of abusive treatment. Regardless of who or what your family is or does. what kind of clothes or shoes you wear, what color your skin is or what shape your body is; All of our hearts and souls are created by the same loving God. Soul wounds can linger for a lifetime, I know. They don't heal like the scraped knees or broken bones of childhood. 

As a victim of any kind, we have to search for the LIGHT in this world. And most of the people and things that "shine" or stand out are linked to a loving God and His Son, Jesus. Go to a church, a counselor or contact a Domestic Violence Program. The only difference between the help a bully and a victim needs is the details!

PARENTS IF YOUR OUT THERE?

I've always wanted to ask; "If you have raised a bully or a victim for that matter, what is going on in your home?What kind of examples of fair treatment are you showing and teaching children? Are they (or even you) learning the lessons of accountability, right and wrong? Real life and fair consequences for their behavior? Do you accept respoonsibility as an adult for your actions?"

COLLEEN'S CLOSURE

l years after m abuse and being bullied ended I was out for a walk one day in the little town where I grew up. I was pushing my new baby in a stroller and this unfamiliar truck pulled up beside me. It was a man who had been one of my high school bullies. Immediately I was filled with panic. He rolled down his window and in an uncertain and humbly voice; "Asked if I could ever forgive him for the horrible way he had treated me?" 

His hatefulness had caught up with his conscience. The last thought I'd had of this  a man was contempt. In a trembling voice, I said; "sure." Was I sure? Not really, but I couldn't help but have empathy for him, which  know was God given. Why, because during the painfilled years of my childhood into my adult life I went in search of light and found the LIGHT. Be well, be braveand know that although God is invisable in form here on earth, He is all around you in the earthly beauty of all of nature and the seasons. He is around you in all those who will love and care for you who  are not part of your earthly  or the kids at school. But, He's there and that's why I'm here, because His love and goodness in me is the love and goodness I want for you,




The Truth That Will Get You Through

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